Category Archives: Misc – upworthy

Why is it that serendipity always appears on the unexplored horizon?

Back in college, a few years ago something happened with me. We were out one night, eight or nine of us, at a friend’s house, it was his birthday. The usual inebriation apart, in a state of senselessness a boy made a shrewish comment at me – what if you get a girl as bad as her, and he laughed. It took me time to comprehend how I was bad – was I bad because I did not care for the social differentiation of acceptable experimental habits  was I bad because I did not fit the usually body cloth hair decorative casing of a confident girl – how can she be so comfortable with the herself that everyone sees?

I was hurt and with tears in my eyes and no shoes on my feet I stormed out of the house. The rest of the night was spent in apologies, more tears and me trying to leave the house with whatever little dignity I could salvage.

Thinking about that night usually brings along with it a set of memories I wish was void. But then again, it really does not matter. Like all other things there is a only one way it works for you, retrospection that is – you always a choice even while connecting the dots backwards.

Retrospection the way usually it is done by most has an inherent user bias which is objectively fair – it is your story after all. Hence reflection tells me now in a very discerning voice – the person before the comments.

And, no.

I am not going to speak against this certain person here, I have been raised rather kindly to do better than to black paint someone else – it is a rather unfruitful exercise.

But what reflection does tell me is that the vague algorithms people often employ to be interested in someone are on a default design of strict filtering with baseless hearsay gossip as the prime parameters. Location plays a vital role too, the more you are around people every day who know very little about you; the more the broth will be boiled by the many cooks.  But then again that is how it has always been – familiarity breeds contempt et all so again it really does not count.

What does count though is the way idle talk affects ones behaviour. What does matter is the way the notions of those around you weigh down your own mechanism of judgement. It is an exceptional survival tactic- what works for most should be safe for me but now we know better, now we know that if 600 people say 7 * 7 = 61 then their basis is visibly different than ours.

lovers-in-italyBut when one goes on exploring unknown lands where there are no notions of the society to help you think except perhaps the dreamy sequences of the media bullshit that you have grown up on one is usually more confident, more of oneself, more of any one that one wishes to be. Why is it that we are more comfortable talking to strangers – being ourselves, being nice and being different? Why is it that the same guy is a different man to a girl from far-away and why is that the man from a far-away land intrigues me more than, well really, okay sometimes, he does intrigue me more than the boy-next-door?

Genetics and Psychology offer disturbing answers. Prudence tells me it is all in your head. Relativity decides my happiness and the grass is somehow always greener on the other side. Just the same duality does not escape me too, I am your girl next door and I am also someone’s beautiful stranger.


Originally posted here.


The immortal life of my growing self

People wish people could live forever. It would be great, it would like it is in the movies – freeze at the perfect age which differs given that you prefer vampire diaries or Dracula or twilight or Oscar Wilde – it would be the happily ever after forever.

source - internet
source – internet

Living forever and not aging is a very romantic notion but god forbid if you were alone like the Doctor without a time machine things could get pretty lonely. Attitude is everything and you could get all the degrees that you want and do all the jobs in the world but then the world would be growing and you would not, and who knows you could perhaps even suffer from every kind of psychological breakdown there ever is, was could be and still live forever.

Immortality would be the true test of an optimistic outlook and one of these days when I feel adventurous maybe I will toy with idea but growing up as I have has already been so intense that for the moment I think I would shy away from it.

Growing up in today’s culture amidst globalisation and the tools of technology with knowledge at my hands whenever I have expressed a curiosity has been an empowering experience.  For all those who have wanted to understand themselves and the world the thoughts of the great minds who have lived before us are within our reach. Do we mature faster because we live in a more connected society – the answer is rather subjective, but one can say for sure that the general awareness of people who are connected has indeed increased.

With all the marvels of medicine to help us live longer and with all that available ageless wisdom do people today have more substantial live than those before us? People should hope they could and they can hope if they are inquisitive by nature about the meaning of life at philosophical depths rather than being the urbane consumer of this modernized world.

I am modernization’s ultimate urbane child and I have grown up a little too fast. All of just 24 and having bathed in the reservoir of  myriad experiences I feel a little too old. My body is young but my eyes are old and people my age just cannot talk to me.

But then they say that age is just a number and now and then I find someone often older and sometimes younger who feel the way about things like I do. Who have aged like me in this strange strange time – a little too fast, a little too aware. It is all in the mind they say, they also say your life is what you make out it – and there are brilliant people all along the globe defying age and looking gorgeous, younger people who are inventing amazing things , older people who are refusing to change and also younger people refusing to think, wars are still being fought by old men and young men alike and in the middle of all this connected aware we are slowly aging, growing, learning and perhaps hopefully changing.

The immortal life of my growing self is a gift of the modern times, the immortal life is in my mind and no one can ever take it away.